Question - Many of my friends are jerks. They may attempt to challenge HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA BUTLER to fisticuffs in order to establish dominance. Does your service come with tranquilizing darts and shock prods?
Answer - We don't provide any kind of tranquillizing darts or shock prods as our gorilla's are highly trained and integrated.  If one of your friends were to "start" on them they are trained in conflict resolution and would ultimately ignore violent confrontation or seek to "talk the aggressor down".

Question - May I use them to attack my friends?  They are jerks.
Answer - As stated above our gorilla's won't engage in any violent confrontation therefore your best option may be to not have jerks as friends in the first place

Question - Exactly how huge are we talking here?
Answer - HUGE! Around 470lbs of pure gorillaness [sic]

Question - What sort of Bludgeoning Insurance do you provide?
Answer - We provide no insurance against bludgeoning .  You will be required to sign a disclaimer at the point of payment so that in the highly unlikely occurrence of personal injury HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA RENTALS™ will not be held liable.  All of our butlers ARE insured against property damage that may occur during your gorilla butler hire, ie. broken glasses etc.

Question - If requested politely, will the HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA BUTLER peform his duties while riding on the back of a small pony? Will you supply this pony?
Answer - We currently have no plans to provide this service.

Question - It is widely known that Gorillas are staunch vegetarians, and all of my guests are red-blooded Americans who will demand their meals to be composed of nothing but steaming, bloody meat. Will your HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA BUTLERS be able to handle this, or will they get all preachy and "accidentally" tip the whole roast sucking pig into the swimming pool?
Answer - All our gorillas are very accepting and non-judgmental. They are trained to serve and fulfil your butlering needs, not to pass judgment on alternative lifestyles. This makes them especially perfect for same-sex marriage receptions etc. 

Question - Have you any Gibbons? Orangutans? If requested, can you supply my party with Marmosets?
Answer - No, we are the HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA BUTLER RENTAL company, not the ASSORTED PRIMATE BUTLER RENTAL company. Plus we've found that other primates just don't cut the mustard when it comes to butlering. Accept no substitutions!